Everyday Alchemy

Gandhi was right of course – we have to be the change we wish to see in the world. But not just in the big wide world out there. In the world of our own life as well.

With all the focus on the Law of Attraction, manifestation etc, we seem to have the key to peace, happiness and fulfilment in our hands. Why is it then that everyone is dashing around being busy and doing loads, yet we don’t seem to be getting happier?

THE WAY THINGS ARE
All this busyness is grounded in the DO-HAVE-BE model. I have to DO something to HAVE something in order to be happy. That model is outmoded and just plain wrong. How many times have you worked yourself to the bone to get the money to get something…then realised that having that thing made you superficially happy for 5 minutes?

CHANGING THE RECORD
The underlying model behind pretty much every major school of spirituality is BE-DO-HAVE. In other words, take care of your BEINGness first, so that you DO right action, which enables you to HAVE stuff. At that point though, you have taken care of your being and are feeling so great that having the stuff doesn’t really matter anyway.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN YOUR WORLD
So for you to be happy/peaceful/fulfilled in your life, you have to take care of that first..right here, right now. Not in any huge existential way. Take the time to put yourself in a good vibe right now. When things start to go south, stop what you are doing and attend to your being. Do this each time and it becomes easier to interrupt the negative. Pretty soon you are feeling great most of the time!

So, here are 6 things you can do to get back to a good vibe in the moment…

1. Breathe! – take 3 very long slow deep breaths, breathe in to the count of 4, out to the count of 8. Or try Stacey Mayo’s one minute meditation.
2. Reconnect with your big picture – this is the essence of your being! Think about word of the year or imagine those things that bring you alive!
3. Music – listen to your favorite piece of music. Not only will you feel better, but this will trigger greater access to your imagination and intuition.
4. Dance – move your body to the music. Low vibes get stuck in the body. Get up, move around and shake it out.
5. Get outside – walking shifts the bad vibes and gets you breathing fresh air. Doesn’t have to be long. 5-10 minutes often does the trick.
6. The Alpha Closet – need 5 minutes peace but keep getting interrupted. Go sit in the toilet and breathe. I don’t think I have ever been disturbed in the “alpha closet”!

What else can you do to be the change you wish to see in YOUR world?

Spring is most definitely in the air so it’s time to blow away the cobwebs and get moving.  Spring means it’s time to get clear, lighten up and let go.  Ready to release all that stuff that is cluttering up your life?

Why on earth would I want to do that?
Old stuff weighs you down energetically.  Everything has a vibration and if it’s just clutter, it zaps your vibration.  Plus, there’s no room for anything new and cool to come into your life.  So, let nothing be in your life that doesn’t give you a strong, positive vibe.  Only keep what you love.  Get that done and you will feel energetically a hundred times lighter AND  give all those new manifestations room to materialize as well.

Great, but I have so much stuff…where do I even start?

1. Know your intentions – you are going to get rid of anything that doesn’t support your intentions and leave you in a high vibe.  This isn’t the time to hold onto stuff “in case you might use it later.”
2. Get prepared – having your clearing strategies ready.  Where possible, don’t just toss things into the landfill!  Get boxes ready for anything you can recycle or donate.  Know where your recycling point is and where your donations can go.  That way, when you are tossing stuff, you can just take it straight out.  If you need to just get rid of stuff, do it.
3. Start in the easiest place…the bathroom – go in and get rid of all the old lotions, potion and half used bottles.  All the old samples, that eye cream that you used once.  All of it.  Don’t you feel lighter already?!
4. Keep up the momentum…bedroom time – while you have momentum, clear out all the old clothes that no longer fit, are no longer flattering, out of style.  The acid test? You have to feel great in it.  Not slouchy or slumpy…GREAT.  Few great pieces = easier to mix and match and feel good all the time.  Donating clothes also gives someone else the chance to feel great as your stuff may look great on them.
5. What’s next? – all the other places that clutter hides…you know where!  The kitchen, the garage, that old pile of magazines that you will never read.  Time for it all to go.
6. Manage the anxiety – old stuff contains memories, often cherished.  So, getting rid of stuff can cause anxiety and upset, especially if you take your time with this.  The best analogy is ripping off the plaster.  Do it quickly and the pain goes quickly.  Remember, you are clearing energetic clutter as well.
7. Keep the things that you love and cherish them – the remaining things will raise your vibration and truly mean something to you.  Love it and love the feeling of lightness and clarity that you now have.

So get moving, get busy and bring simplicity back to your life.  Prepare to feel lightness, clarity and a Spring back in your step!

What are you going to clear?

As many of you may know, a tradition that I have taken on for the last few years as an antidote for all the resolution madness of new year is to choose a single word for the upcoming year. I first got the idea from my friend Reed in Rayleigh-Durham and then from the singer and creativity coach, Christine Kane (original article is at http://bit.ly/63JyV3) For me, choosing a word for the year is something that I have been doing instead of setting specific intentions or goals. At a time when I was simply not sure enough to be specific about what I wanted, having a single word as a point of focus has really helped.

For me, the word serves as a kind of meditation or theme for the year, something that informs me both consciously and subconsciously and seems to dance with my very essence. Sometimes it is a bit of a north star – guiding me when I get a bit lost – and sometimes it is something that adds depth and meaning to whatever I am considering. It can also act as some kind of acid test – is what I am doing serving my general intention and purpose. Just for reference, my word for 2008 was “Release” and for 2009 was “Create”. Both of these were purely intuitive and just came to me but served tremendously.

I also found this year that for me to really live “Create,” another word came in during the early part of the year and stayed for several months until around October. This word was “Excavate” and it seems to really fit. I indeed went through a period of intense internal digging to find a lot of my personal demons and bugbears. Having focused on them for those months and really excavating them i.e. digging them up from my unconscious to my conscious, I was able to deal with many things that have been there in the background for years but I have never really been aware of before.

This coming year, I am far more of a mind to set some specific intentions for 2010 – goals for the year rather than resolutions (really important point…we are far more likely to achieve outcomes than we are trying to maintain an input or new habit…remember, we get more of what we focus on…). Partly this year, I know much more about where I am going and what I want. Also though, I have realised for me that not setting goals has been a way to avoid disappointment in case I didn’t reach the goals! “Better to have no expectations than expectations that are dashed“ was the thinking. Well not the case this year. I will be setting intentions around my vocation, launching my business, getting my finances sorted out, improving my health etc.

All of these however are more about the strategy for the year. The word is still really the big picture and the vision/mission if you like. I had been reaching far and wide for a word for 2010 and nothing was really coming to me. Then, tonight after going to see Avatar (brilliant….go see it!), I saw a little sign on railings just outside of a church advertising classes to increase the power of your voice. It was one of those times when I know I was just meant to see that sign. The word had been dangling in front of my nose the whole time. For those of you that know me fairly well, you will have heard me talk about this a bit over the last couple of years and for those of you that really know me, this is a core piece for me.

So, my word for 2010 is VOICE. Finding mine, expressing it, knowing what my voice is on paper. Helping people find their voice and their true expression. Being a voice of Spirit/spirit. Who know’s precisely, and that is the point. This is a very specific and challenging word for me, full of growth, potential and exploration….exactly as it should be. VOICE is certainly going to cause me to grow as one thing I simply can not do is hide my voice. So…the perfect word just dropped in.

Over to you then! As in last year, as 2009 comes to a close and you begin to think about 2010, see if choosing a word for the year might be right for you. Try a few on and then settle on one and see where it leads you. Whichever way, it is bound to be quite exciting. If you would like to share your word, feel free to leave a comment. I certainly would be very interested to hear what you have chosen and why ☺.

I see finally see the light and it is shining on me…“

– Gloria Estefan

That is one song that I love at this time of the year. And so very apt.

Here we are coming out of the Winter Solstice. Last night was the longest night of the year, the longest dark. Alban Arthuan (the Light of Arthur) carries rich and vivid symbolism. It is a magical time. In so many ancient cultures, creation and magic come from the darkness. The Australian Aborigines talk of the Dreamtime. For Hawaiians, creation and the ancestors come from Po, the great void. In the darkness, we are confronted by our deepest fear and darkest shadows, directly and honestly. We must face our personal demons to move on.

However, the Solstice also reminds us that darkness is just one part of the cycle and out of the darkness comes the light. After the longest night comes the dawn…and every day from now until the Summer Solstice sees the light getting stronger and stronger. At this point, the light is just a flicker. It is almost like the pilot light that gradually ignites more and more fire in us and sparks us into new creation…just as Spring brings new creation in the world.

The richness of this event usually makes this my favorite of the celtic festivals as I tend to find it a refreshing and reflective alternative to the Christmas season. This year I have been far more focused on Christmas and being like a little kid again with all the sparkling lights, warm winter drinks and winter songs. The credit crunch seems to have made this year less commercial and therefore much easier to find the ”real spirit of Christmas“ (how very Charlie Brown).

I have not been able to escape the energy of the Solstice though. Despite my best efforts to avoid the shadows, I have not be able to stop my own gremlins and boogiemen from rearing their heads. This is the trouble with diversion and distraction tactics…our spirit always knows whats our greater purpose and direction and it seems that anything not in service of that has to come to the surface to be cleared. Without facing these things, we get stuck. In reality I have been stuck for a few weeks now as the dark clouds have descended. I might be focused on the happy carols, but the Universe and my psyche it seems have had other ideas.

The demons have come in many forms during a period of darkness that has lasted more than one night. Fears of inadequacy. Of feeling not qualified to do what I am choosing to step into as my vocation (”what on earth have I got to say about intuition, spirituality and creating magic?“). Fears of the unknown. What can seem like a great adventure in one moment can scare the bejeezus out of me during another moment. And then comes the real doozy. Abandonment. Of feeling like the world is a cold and lonely place and feeling separated and cut off from Spirit/Source/God/the Universe/the Divine. That one have been bubbling along in the undercurrents of my subconscious for a while and when I am feeling it, the black feelings are there – loneliness, despair, depression, guilt. The immediate relief comes through anger which at least gets some movement going. After all the years and all the work that I have done, nothing feels quite as bad as the feeling of separation from source.

In the past I would have tried to cover these feelings over. The law of attraction says that you get more of what you focus on…which is entirely true. But just because I would have distracted myself doesn’t mean the feelings weren’t there. There has been a big gift in all of this however – darkness does indeed serve a purpose as does light and the key is to maintain the flow. Getting stuck in either is not going to raise our vibration. And, just like getting unstuck when you are spinning your wheels in the mud, the first thing that has to happen stepping back and honestly appraising the situation…with courage…head on.

Shine a light on the shadow and guess what. It disappears. Like the Hermit in the Tarot, when we are alone in the dark, we have to shine our light on the shadows to fully perceive what is there. As we do that, the true gift is revealed….along with a tremendous amount of relief and joy. So, when you find yourself spinning your wheels, or stuck in a dark place, try these steps…

1. Be honest and take 100% responsibility for your shadow – this doesn’t mean blaming yourself. it just means slowing down and look at what is really going on. Taking the time to see what is coming up and why. Our spirit has a positive intent for everything so stop for a moment and ask “what am I feeling, and what is it’s highest positive intent?”. Then listen inside for the answer.
2. Write it down…then let it go – I find it easiest to write things out so that I can get the feeling and the underlying thoughts out and then look at them objectively. Once you have done this, you can use the elements to release the shadow. Either burn the paper (great for releasing), freeze it (great for stopping a situation), bury it (great for healing) or soak it and then flush it (great for letting go of emotions). Alternatively, sit and feel the feeling. Doing this consciously without judgement usually causes the feeling to shift in a few minutes.
3. Decide – once you have done the first two steps, you will have created a space which you will want to fill constructively and positively. So, decide what you want. The key here is to DECIDE (which means to cut off all other possibilities) and commit. Focus on what you want to want to create in your life and give yourself permission to do that. Any decision is better than no decision. The point is that you want to fill the vacuum with your intent, rather than letting your gremlins get their little grubby mitts on your newly formed blank canvas!
4. Act – there is only one thing that can truly and fully cement a positive intention. You have to take action. This not only sends a clear sign to the universe of your intent but provides you with feedback as to the next thing to do. Although this can feel tricky and difficult, you only have to be willing to take the first step…the Universe then steps up to meet you, hold you and give you guidance as to the best things you can do to get into and stay in the flow. Whatever happens, do not leave the situation without taking at least one small action towards your intention. So, what is the first step?
5. Trust - the biggest learning I have had in this period, it is that actually Spirit never went away and that the feelings of separation are just that…feelings. As I have come back to being honest, letting things go and deciding what I want, there has been evidence of Spirit in the whole process. When we step through the darkness, Spirit WILL meet us, hold us and guide us back towards light.

And so it is that I find coming out of the dark, I am finally seeing glimmers of the light and feeling it shine on me. Better to be honest and let these things go than be Pollyanna. Thank you Spirit and Gloria for the inspiration ))).

New Year…it was only 4 days ago and yet it feels like an age ago. Hard to believe that the holidays were less than 2 weeks ago. Such is life in the crazy, manic, information age. It is sometimes hard to stop and savor the delicious moments that occur in life!

New Year…also the time of new goals, dreaming big and, of course, resolutions (which are so often gone and forgotten by St Patrick’s Day)! I usually look forward to this time of year being a person who loves beginnings, fresh starts and exciting possibilities. However, this year I found myself having a very interesting reaction to a lot of the positive psychology and spirituality blogs which I have never had before.

Many of the articles are wonderful, positive and motivating. There is often a theme however that caught me this year. The need to dream big, the need to be astonishing, remarkable, powerful, set exponential growth goals (“grow your business by 500% in the next year!”), create a magnificent obsession. All good stuff and absolutely necessary as far as I am concerned. However, the problem was not so much what they were saying so much as the urgency and fodder for the ego that these kind of sentiments can create.

Because we live within the artificial construct of the Gregorian calendar, there can be immense pressure to draw a clean slate at 1st January and come up with a massive new life purpose and goals because we think we should…making this year the best year of our lives and all that. The pressure and panic that can ensue from this arbitrary transition can really give the impression that we have missed a trick if we don’t come up with some thing impressive for the New Year. Indeed, this kind of thinking often leads us to goals that we think we want or we think we should want. We may not be anywhere near the level of creativity, honesty and openness that we really need to be at to truly hear what our heart and spirit want for us. In reality, life is more organic than that.

So, once again, I come back to the rhythms of the year that Nature and Spirit follow and it all seems much more creative, more nurturing and more authentic. We are a few weeks after the Winter Solstice where the light just started its ascendence. This was the time to plant the seeds of what we want in the next cycle.

For me, that is exactly what this time of year is all about. Nurturing the seeds, tilling the soil, reflecting. We may not know exactly what we want, but we can plant the intention to discover and excavate those life-affirming desires as winter descends. January is a month to dream and reflect. To gather inside by the warmth of the fire and look forward to the upcoming journey through the year. It is a time to look inside primarily and allow this to inform what the external will look like. It is a time of peace and rest in nature, and so it can be with us as well. There is plenty of time in Spring and Summer to jump into action. Now is the time to imagine, to allow the seeds of creativity to germinate into grand visions of the future.

I often find myself revving up for action at this time of year, and the reality of the human world is that so does everybody else. However, for the sake of mine and our collective sanity, I really advocate doing only what is necessary and no more. Allow self-nurturing, self-care, imagination and dreaming this month. In metaphysical terms, doing this raises your vibration and your consciousness, making you far more aware of what you truly and deeply desire and giving access to ways of bringing those things about that your head and your ego alone would never come up with.

Yes, we can make the decisions to be remarkable, amazing and astonishing now. We can resolve to have the best year of our lives. Right now though is the time of intention – let those intentions come to you and let yourself daydream…allow it to be organic and you will be surprised with what you come up with…and how the Universe meets you to help in the creative process. With that in mind, here are 5 things that can help you in the process…

1. Accept where you are with love and honesty – like every great endeavour, it is great to have a strong and wonderful idea of where you are heading, but you also need to have an accurate picture of where you are right now, without blame, without judgement. Come to a place of peace and acceptance of where you are and you create rich, fertile ground for your seeds of intention to grow in.
2. Become aware of what you appreciate in your life – starting a practice of writing everything that you appreciate about each day, every day will have a profound impact on your life. Your general level of positivity and happiness will go up and you become aware of that which truly makes your heart sing…so you can create intentions that truly reflect what you want rather than what you think you should want. Also, this raises your vibration and the Law of Attraction means that you can not help but get more positivity in your life.
3. Live the questions – The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke said, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…Do not now seek the answers that can not be given you because you would not be able to live them and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now…” Sara Ban Breathnach in Simple Abundance reminds us that the answers always come but we need to know which questions are truly worth asking.  What do you need as well as what do you want? What do you want to create?  Why are these intentions important?  This month, ask the questions and allow the answers to come to you organically as you dream and reflect.
4. Place extreme self-care at the top of your priorities – this may be the month when the human world gets back into action, but Nature reminds us that this is still a time of peace and recovery. So, especially this month, take plenty of time to go about your life and make simple choices that support your self-care. This can be nice indulgences such as a hot bath in privacy or getting a massage, but can also mean choosing to get to bed early and giving journeys plenty of time so that you don’t have to rush.
5. Inspire your dreaming – January gives us long, dark evenings indoors in which to engage in inspiring conversation, listen to music that uplifts and relaxes us, read books that stimulate our imagination and take us to far away places. Take this time to fuel and nurture your imagination and see what dreams and visions truly bring you to life.