Everyday Alchemy

Everything is as it should be. As Byron Katie says in A Thousand Names for Joy, the only thing that is supposed to be is what is. There is no other “supposed to be” or else reality would be that way. We get so attached to different outcomes, to the way we think things should be and yet we end up throwing ourselves against the rocks with sadness, worry and angst because things are not the way we want them.

Whenever we want things to change, the first thing we have to do is meaningfully accept things exactly as they are and seek the gifts of the situation. This might be as simple as the situation being so intolerable that you can do nothing but change or it might be realising that, actually, things are exactly perfect as they are for this moment in time. There can be extraordinary presents that you get just by being present and seeing them is the first step in creating magic!

I have recently found myself extremely blessed with some beautiful things and beautiful people entering into my life. Their presence has added a level of grace, abundance and awe to each day. Of course, the reaction of my little ego self it to attempt to grab hold of these gifts, control them and say “mine, all mine…not for anyone else!”. Gotta love the ego! Indeed I love basking in the good feeling that these new things bring and would hope to have their presence in my life for a very long time. The truth is though that everything changes. Nothing ever stays the same. However, right now, right here in THIS moment, I get to enjoy the grace, abundance and awe…and those things crack my heart open a little more each day. A beautiful thing (yes, I find myself welling up at the silliest things!).

Every moment, we have a choice. Live in the moment, accepting things as they are and enjoying it, knowing that all things change. Or try to grab hold and hold on for dear life, squeezing the life out of the moment and living in fear that we will lose the very thing that we are squeezing the life out of.

That everything changes is ultimately good news. If you find yourself in a place that is intolerable…and you can accept exactly where you are without judgement (easier said than done…but doable), the next step always always reveals itself. We just have to stay present, accepting things as they are until it does. Then, take action for at that point it inspired action that is likely to be far more potent than we could ever dream up. The universe always holds out a friendly hand but in its time, not according to our timetable – and usually, the universe’ timing is far better than our “want want want, now now now” standards. If you find yourself in a place that is wonderful, bask in the delight of that moment. The second you worry about losing that moment, you have stepped out and already lost it.

Don’t worry. Things are as they should be. Byron Katie says “Fall in love with reality” and I have to agree with her. When you feel yourself tense up, remember the goodness of the moment, the positive, the sunshine and just B R E A T H E. Keep breathing until you are back in the present and you will realise that in that moment, life is good (or great or simply awesome )).

I dream of the ancient redwood forests, timeless, eternal, living, breathing.

I dream of the mountains stretching into the sky, as they have done for millions of years.

I dream of the vast blue ocean an the crashing of waves.

I dream of a time when there was only stillness, vastness, eternity.

I dream of now.

What do you dream of today?

Gandhi was right of course – we have to be the change we wish to see in the world. But not just in the big wide world out there. In the world of our own life as well.

With all the focus on the Law of Attraction, manifestation etc, we seem to have the key to peace, happiness and fulfilment in our hands. Why is it then that everyone is dashing around being busy and doing loads, yet we don’t seem to be getting happier?

THE WAY THINGS ARE
All this busyness is grounded in the DO-HAVE-BE model. I have to DO something to HAVE something in order to be happy. That model is outmoded and just plain wrong. How many times have you worked yourself to the bone to get the money to get something…then realised that having that thing made you superficially happy for 5 minutes?

CHANGING THE RECORD
The underlying model behind pretty much every major school of spirituality is BE-DO-HAVE. In other words, take care of your BEINGness first, so that you DO right action, which enables you to HAVE stuff. At that point though, you have taken care of your being and are feeling so great that having the stuff doesn’t really matter anyway.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN YOUR WORLD
So for you to be happy/peaceful/fulfilled in your life, you have to take care of that first..right here, right now. Not in any huge existential way. Take the time to put yourself in a good vibe right now. When things start to go south, stop what you are doing and attend to your being. Do this each time and it becomes easier to interrupt the negative. Pretty soon you are feeling great most of the time!

So, here are 6 things you can do to get back to a good vibe in the moment…

1. Breathe! – take 3 very long slow deep breaths, breathe in to the count of 4, out to the count of 8. Or try Stacey Mayo’s one minute meditation.
2. Reconnect with your big picture – this is the essence of your being! Think about word of the year or imagine those things that bring you alive!
3. Music – listen to your favorite piece of music. Not only will you feel better, but this will trigger greater access to your imagination and intuition.
4. Dance – move your body to the music. Low vibes get stuck in the body. Get up, move around and shake it out.
5. Get outside – walking shifts the bad vibes and gets you breathing fresh air. Doesn’t have to be long. 5-10 minutes often does the trick.
6. The Alpha Closet – need 5 minutes peace but keep getting interrupted. Go sit in the toilet and breathe. I don’t think I have ever been disturbed in the “alpha closet”!

What else can you do to be the change you wish to see in YOUR world?

Right here. Right now. Sit still. Connect. Let the words take you. Follow you heart. Follow your knowing. Write what appears in your head. Trust that. Know that it comes from a good source. Sit there. Until something emerges. Let it happen. No effort. While you are waiting, muse. Ponder. See what inspires you. Let your mind wander. Ideas seep in. Getting antsy? Take a deep breath. Let it flow through you. All the way in. All the way down. Feel it. Feel your body. Feel the sensations. It is ok. Let your body know. It’s ok. In the moment. Worry less. Let it emerge. Inspiration. Relax. Resonate. Getting sleepy? Take a nap. Head down. Get comfy. Snooze. Wake up. Stretch. Feel the stretch. Go enjoy your day….

Ever have one of those days where you just didn’t know what to do with yourself? There is stuff to do but you feel listless and unfocused? Don’t give yourself a good talking to or “pull your bootstraps up”. Go softly, go gently and get yourself into a good state. Bullying yourself or psyching yourself up might shift things temporarily but rarely leads to any long term benefit.

Instead, take this time to slow down, reconnect with your spirit and allow the friendly universe to show you the way forward. This is the time to just breathe deeply, take a look around you for what is good in your life and do all those other things that raise your vibe.

• Connect with your soul family – there is nothing like conversing with those people who get you and accept you, just as you are. They don’t try to fix you or change anything. Although often when we are listless we want answers, that injection of love is what we need most.

• Feed your spirit – the word “inspired” come from the latin “inspirare” which means to take in spirit. So,let inspiration nourish your soul. This might be something creative like painting or writing. It might be dancing or singing. It might be taking in a good dose of beauty by walking in nature or getting some beautiful flowers. All help to give your spirit a recharge.

• Don’t just do something, sit there – for me, listless energy can feel depressed or manic. The best thing to do here is to sit down and get centred. Meditation or visualisation is even better. The listless energy is often free floating anxiety about the past or future, so bring yourself into the present by taking at least 10 very long slow deep breaths (Stacey Mayo’s excellent One Minute Meditation is also great). Touching the earth by sitting or getting your hands into dirt will help ground you as well.

• Get back in your body – this can mean exercise if that helps you but personally that doesn’t make me feel great at times like this! Instead, this is a great time to get physical, mundane stuff done. Washing, ironing, washing up, clearing out clutter (see my previous blog post – Spring fever – time to clear the clutter!). Putting your full attention on this is almost meditative, and I always get a sense of achievement from getting something done.

• See where the goodness is – it might seem like an old cliche, but nothing can help you feel you feel better more quickly like counting your blessings. It is often the last thing I want to do…but as they say, you get more of what you focus on. So, sit down with pen and paper and make a list of what is working. Put all the obvious stuff that everyone always says – health, friendships, whatever it is. It really does work.

All of this is going to help you slow down and hear the guidance of your spirit. Listening to that is the real key to feeling good and getting back on track.

What is your spirit saying?

Spring is most definitely in the air so it’s time to blow away the cobwebs and get moving.  Spring means it’s time to get clear, lighten up and let go.  Ready to release all that stuff that is cluttering up your life?

Why on earth would I want to do that?
Old stuff weighs you down energetically.  Everything has a vibration and if it’s just clutter, it zaps your vibration.  Plus, there’s no room for anything new and cool to come into your life.  So, let nothing be in your life that doesn’t give you a strong, positive vibe.  Only keep what you love.  Get that done and you will feel energetically a hundred times lighter AND  give all those new manifestations room to materialize as well.

Great, but I have so much stuff…where do I even start?

1. Know your intentions – you are going to get rid of anything that doesn’t support your intentions and leave you in a high vibe.  This isn’t the time to hold onto stuff “in case you might use it later.”
2. Get prepared – having your clearing strategies ready.  Where possible, don’t just toss things into the landfill!  Get boxes ready for anything you can recycle or donate.  Know where your recycling point is and where your donations can go.  That way, when you are tossing stuff, you can just take it straight out.  If you need to just get rid of stuff, do it.
3. Start in the easiest place…the bathroom – go in and get rid of all the old lotions, potion and half used bottles.  All the old samples, that eye cream that you used once.  All of it.  Don’t you feel lighter already?!
4. Keep up the momentum…bedroom time – while you have momentum, clear out all the old clothes that no longer fit, are no longer flattering, out of style.  The acid test? You have to feel great in it.  Not slouchy or slumpy…GREAT.  Few great pieces = easier to mix and match and feel good all the time.  Donating clothes also gives someone else the chance to feel great as your stuff may look great on them.
5. What’s next? – all the other places that clutter hides…you know where!  The kitchen, the garage, that old pile of magazines that you will never read.  Time for it all to go.
6. Manage the anxiety – old stuff contains memories, often cherished.  So, getting rid of stuff can cause anxiety and upset, especially if you take your time with this.  The best analogy is ripping off the plaster.  Do it quickly and the pain goes quickly.  Remember, you are clearing energetic clutter as well.
7. Keep the things that you love and cherish them – the remaining things will raise your vibration and truly mean something to you.  Love it and love the feeling of lightness and clarity that you now have.

So get moving, get busy and bring simplicity back to your life.  Prepare to feel lightness, clarity and a Spring back in your step!

What are you going to clear?

Sat here on the balcony of the apartment overlooking the park, I am struck by the sheer beauty of Spring in London. The birds are singing, the sky is blue(ish) and the trees are coming back to life. Life spreads across the land and the greening begins to happen.

We are coming to the Vernal Equinox – Alban Eilir – the time of balance between the light and dark, and the brief repose before the action that the returning light brings. The days get longer and the sun gets higher.  Spring hits full pace at Beltane on May 1st.

The time of balance

This is a time of balance. We are not yet at the time of action and enthusiasm that the summer brings. Instead, pause & consider the past six months of dark, the insights gained, the seeds you have planted (from the Winter Solstice). The seeds in nature are just beginning to poke through the soil and, likewise, our insights and seed thoughts begin to come into manifestation ready for us to attend to and care for. So, this time of year also asks us to look forward to the next six months of light before the Autumnal Equinox to see what actions to take in the outer world to manifest what we want to reap at harvest time.

The coming of Air and the time of movement

The coming of Air signifies the coming of movement after the stasis of Earth over winter. The insight of the Equinox is also that balance is not static…for me balance is about rhythm and flow. Finding the right rhythm for your own being and coming into flow with the rhythms of our environment. Air reminds us to breath deeply now that the breeze begins to warm and to allow space for Spirit to move. The coming of Spring is also a celebration and the new energy rising is all about dancing with life!

The time of clarity and insight
Air is also the element of the mind and balance, lightness and breath bring us a clear and nimble mind. Air blows away the cobwebs and clears a space in the muzzy mind waking from Winter. Certainly the new light in the morning makes it easier for me to jump out of bed! Take action by all means but take the time to check in with yourself as to whether it is the right action for you at this time. Does it make you feel lighter or heavier? Air is light and loves to dance. Bear this in mind and take action that raises your spirit, lifts your heart and clears your mind!

Enjoy this time. From here on in we are all about the quickening into the fire season of Summer. Reflect, clear out the clutter of house and mind, open the window and let Air blow through. Celebrate by dancing, singing and keeping it light. You can put your head down and plow into action later. For right now, breathe .

Yoga is one of the motherlodes. Great spiritual development and a great workout as well. Whoever said that yoga is gentle and easy clearly hasn’t done it! Luckily I was taught by the wonderfully warm Laura who brought a great sense of humour while we were bending this way and that.

Trying something new can be daunting…especially when you are trying to get to a good standard very quickly. Kinda like my exploits with blogging! Still, reflecting on this morning’s class, there are some great lessons for starting anything new in life.

• Keep it light and laugh a lot – when starting, stay light with yourself and the process. This class had many advanced students as well and my ego couldn’t help itself and try to get me to go harder. But when you have hamstrings as tight as mine and crap balance, you are not going to be uber-bendy right away. When you fall over, stay light, laugh a lot and keep giving it a go – allow the process to be magical for you (see Creating Magic).

• Keep your eye on the prize but stay flexible – I would love to do a headstand right away and sooner or later I will. I have always wanted to do one. For the time being, adapting to what I can do and flipping my legs up against the wall will get me there eventually.

• Consistency and focus are key – I can tell already that if I keep going to a couple of classes a week and just relax with the rest, I will make progress pretty quickly. Consistent and focused action is the key here. How true is this of EVERY new endeavour we try?

• Baby steps rule! – the key to being able to take consistent action is to break it down. I am not going to be a yogi tomorrow…but showing up, doing a little bit each time and staying light means I hopefully will do that headstand before too much longer!

• Use the experts – the sign of a good teacher is that they push you to try more than you believe you can do…just beyond your limits…and when you realise you can do that, you feel great…and then you want to do more. The full back arch felt like it was killing me at first, but some encouragement and adjustments from Laura and I was able to arch up.

• You always get more of what you focus on – being honest, getting out of bed for yoga was a struggle. Warm bed or stretchy pain. Put it that way and I would have stayed in bed. Warm bed or physical exercise that fuels my spirit…I was up and outta bed. Even though it was tough, I loved the class.

Now how about a little stretching with life?

Image credit Unrated. via Creative Commons on Flickr

As many of you may know, a tradition that I have taken on for the last few years as an antidote for all the resolution madness of new year is to choose a single word for the upcoming year. I first got the idea from my friend Reed in Rayleigh-Durham and then from the singer and creativity coach, Christine Kane (original article is at http://bit.ly/63JyV3) For me, choosing a word for the year is something that I have been doing instead of setting specific intentions or goals. At a time when I was simply not sure enough to be specific about what I wanted, having a single word as a point of focus has really helped.

For me, the word serves as a kind of meditation or theme for the year, something that informs me both consciously and subconsciously and seems to dance with my very essence. Sometimes it is a bit of a north star – guiding me when I get a bit lost – and sometimes it is something that adds depth and meaning to whatever I am considering. It can also act as some kind of acid test – is what I am doing serving my general intention and purpose. Just for reference, my word for 2008 was “Release” and for 2009 was “Create”. Both of these were purely intuitive and just came to me but served tremendously.

I also found this year that for me to really live “Create,” another word came in during the early part of the year and stayed for several months until around October. This word was “Excavate” and it seems to really fit. I indeed went through a period of intense internal digging to find a lot of my personal demons and bugbears. Having focused on them for those months and really excavating them i.e. digging them up from my unconscious to my conscious, I was able to deal with many things that have been there in the background for years but I have never really been aware of before.

This coming year, I am far more of a mind to set some specific intentions for 2010 – goals for the year rather than resolutions (really important point…we are far more likely to achieve outcomes than we are trying to maintain an input or new habit…remember, we get more of what we focus on…). Partly this year, I know much more about where I am going and what I want. Also though, I have realised for me that not setting goals has been a way to avoid disappointment in case I didn’t reach the goals! “Better to have no expectations than expectations that are dashed“ was the thinking. Well not the case this year. I will be setting intentions around my vocation, launching my business, getting my finances sorted out, improving my health etc.

All of these however are more about the strategy for the year. The word is still really the big picture and the vision/mission if you like. I had been reaching far and wide for a word for 2010 and nothing was really coming to me. Then, tonight after going to see Avatar (brilliant….go see it!), I saw a little sign on railings just outside of a church advertising classes to increase the power of your voice. It was one of those times when I know I was just meant to see that sign. The word had been dangling in front of my nose the whole time. For those of you that know me fairly well, you will have heard me talk about this a bit over the last couple of years and for those of you that really know me, this is a core piece for me.

So, my word for 2010 is VOICE. Finding mine, expressing it, knowing what my voice is on paper. Helping people find their voice and their true expression. Being a voice of Spirit/spirit. Who know’s precisely, and that is the point. This is a very specific and challenging word for me, full of growth, potential and exploration….exactly as it should be. VOICE is certainly going to cause me to grow as one thing I simply can not do is hide my voice. So…the perfect word just dropped in.

Over to you then! As in last year, as 2009 comes to a close and you begin to think about 2010, see if choosing a word for the year might be right for you. Try a few on and then settle on one and see where it leads you. Whichever way, it is bound to be quite exciting. If you would like to share your word, feel free to leave a comment. I certainly would be very interested to hear what you have chosen and why ☺.

I see finally see the light and it is shining on me…“

– Gloria Estefan

That is one song that I love at this time of the year. And so very apt.

Here we are coming out of the Winter Solstice. Last night was the longest night of the year, the longest dark. Alban Arthuan (the Light of Arthur) carries rich and vivid symbolism. It is a magical time. In so many ancient cultures, creation and magic come from the darkness. The Australian Aborigines talk of the Dreamtime. For Hawaiians, creation and the ancestors come from Po, the great void. In the darkness, we are confronted by our deepest fear and darkest shadows, directly and honestly. We must face our personal demons to move on.

However, the Solstice also reminds us that darkness is just one part of the cycle and out of the darkness comes the light. After the longest night comes the dawn…and every day from now until the Summer Solstice sees the light getting stronger and stronger. At this point, the light is just a flicker. It is almost like the pilot light that gradually ignites more and more fire in us and sparks us into new creation…just as Spring brings new creation in the world.

The richness of this event usually makes this my favorite of the celtic festivals as I tend to find it a refreshing and reflective alternative to the Christmas season. This year I have been far more focused on Christmas and being like a little kid again with all the sparkling lights, warm winter drinks and winter songs. The credit crunch seems to have made this year less commercial and therefore much easier to find the ”real spirit of Christmas“ (how very Charlie Brown).

I have not been able to escape the energy of the Solstice though. Despite my best efforts to avoid the shadows, I have not be able to stop my own gremlins and boogiemen from rearing their heads. This is the trouble with diversion and distraction tactics…our spirit always knows whats our greater purpose and direction and it seems that anything not in service of that has to come to the surface to be cleared. Without facing these things, we get stuck. In reality I have been stuck for a few weeks now as the dark clouds have descended. I might be focused on the happy carols, but the Universe and my psyche it seems have had other ideas.

The demons have come in many forms during a period of darkness that has lasted more than one night. Fears of inadequacy. Of feeling not qualified to do what I am choosing to step into as my vocation (”what on earth have I got to say about intuition, spirituality and creating magic?“). Fears of the unknown. What can seem like a great adventure in one moment can scare the bejeezus out of me during another moment. And then comes the real doozy. Abandonment. Of feeling like the world is a cold and lonely place and feeling separated and cut off from Spirit/Source/God/the Universe/the Divine. That one have been bubbling along in the undercurrents of my subconscious for a while and when I am feeling it, the black feelings are there – loneliness, despair, depression, guilt. The immediate relief comes through anger which at least gets some movement going. After all the years and all the work that I have done, nothing feels quite as bad as the feeling of separation from source.

In the past I would have tried to cover these feelings over. The law of attraction says that you get more of what you focus on…which is entirely true. But just because I would have distracted myself doesn’t mean the feelings weren’t there. There has been a big gift in all of this however – darkness does indeed serve a purpose as does light and the key is to maintain the flow. Getting stuck in either is not going to raise our vibration. And, just like getting unstuck when you are spinning your wheels in the mud, the first thing that has to happen stepping back and honestly appraising the situation…with courage…head on.

Shine a light on the shadow and guess what. It disappears. Like the Hermit in the Tarot, when we are alone in the dark, we have to shine our light on the shadows to fully perceive what is there. As we do that, the true gift is revealed….along with a tremendous amount of relief and joy. So, when you find yourself spinning your wheels, or stuck in a dark place, try these steps…

1. Be honest and take 100% responsibility for your shadow – this doesn’t mean blaming yourself. it just means slowing down and look at what is really going on. Taking the time to see what is coming up and why. Our spirit has a positive intent for everything so stop for a moment and ask “what am I feeling, and what is it’s highest positive intent?”. Then listen inside for the answer.
2. Write it down…then let it go – I find it easiest to write things out so that I can get the feeling and the underlying thoughts out and then look at them objectively. Once you have done this, you can use the elements to release the shadow. Either burn the paper (great for releasing), freeze it (great for stopping a situation), bury it (great for healing) or soak it and then flush it (great for letting go of emotions). Alternatively, sit and feel the feeling. Doing this consciously without judgement usually causes the feeling to shift in a few minutes.
3. Decide – once you have done the first two steps, you will have created a space which you will want to fill constructively and positively. So, decide what you want. The key here is to DECIDE (which means to cut off all other possibilities) and commit. Focus on what you want to want to create in your life and give yourself permission to do that. Any decision is better than no decision. The point is that you want to fill the vacuum with your intent, rather than letting your gremlins get their little grubby mitts on your newly formed blank canvas!
4. Act – there is only one thing that can truly and fully cement a positive intention. You have to take action. This not only sends a clear sign to the universe of your intent but provides you with feedback as to the next thing to do. Although this can feel tricky and difficult, you only have to be willing to take the first step…the Universe then steps up to meet you, hold you and give you guidance as to the best things you can do to get into and stay in the flow. Whatever happens, do not leave the situation without taking at least one small action towards your intention. So, what is the first step?
5. Trust - the biggest learning I have had in this period, it is that actually Spirit never went away and that the feelings of separation are just that…feelings. As I have come back to being honest, letting things go and deciding what I want, there has been evidence of Spirit in the whole process. When we step through the darkness, Spirit WILL meet us, hold us and guide us back towards light.

And so it is that I find coming out of the dark, I am finally seeing glimmers of the light and feeling it shine on me. Better to be honest and let these things go than be Pollyanna. Thank you Spirit and Gloria for the inspiration ))).